December 29th, 2019
On Validation
Who came up with the idea that what we do, what we create and who we are needs to be okayed by someone else, or a group of someones?
If it’s our own creation, our own choice and our own doing, why are we so hell bent on being validated for it?
What does it give us?
Is it truly better when others ok it?
What is it about validation that makes us need it so much?
If we create our thing, and no one sees it, have we still created it?
If you sing a song, and no one cheers on about it, did you still sing it? Did your cells still vibrate to the movement you chose to be?
What makes validation a vital part of our existence?
There are all kinds of degrees of requiring this validation.
There’s the “good job!”, you’re on the right track kinda validation. Then there’s the “I can’t even see myself unless someone else sees me!”.
Validation and encouragement are two different things.
If we receive encouragement, it’s more of a bonus. You did your thing, and someone appreciated the effort you put into it and told you about it. It’s a kindness received. If you don’t get it, you might still continue to do your thing, but it can add to the joy of your creation.
Validation is more of a need. If we do the thing in order to receive the acknowledgment from others, it becomes a need. And need comes from lack.
If we live so much in lack that we need the validation from our peers, family and others around us to create something, we are creating it on the basis of what they are looking for and not from what we are meant to create. It’s a vicious circle.
Are you looking to create something from YOU or are you looking to create something that matches what everyone else is looking for? Hmm.
The latter will likely bring confusion and doubt, because your platform is everyone else’s potentially different point of view on what you are creating. And you are already picking up on this, whether you know it or not. You may also be picking up on their judgments in advance. Yep, you are that aware…
And what happens then? More doubt, more confusion.
Sounds familiar?
If we look for validation, we are owned. If we look to just create and make choices for ourselves, we are actually in creation mode. Then, there really is no limit to what we can create and how beautiful it can be.
And chances are, what we create from that energy is far more likely to be valued by other people — and perhaps not everyone — but that’s not really the point now is it?
And that goes for creating our lives too!